Sarah’s story

From the outside, Sarah* was a normal young woman leading a normal life – she went to work, she had friends, she lived with a loving family. But secretly, for years, Sarah was sexually abused by her stepfather. By the time she hit her mid-20s, she felt strong enough to approach her mother about her mistreatment – but she was not believed. It was then that Sarah knew she had to flee.  

Sarah arrived at our refuge feeling overwhelmed; she felt she had lost everything – her home, her job and her family. She was depressed and struggled with confusing feelings and emotions around her situation. Staff provided counselling and wellbeing sessions to support her through her journey to recovery, and after a month with us she felt ready to meet once more with her mother.  

The meeting, however, did not go well. Sarah’s mother blamed her for the abuse she had experienced, deeply wounding her emotionally and causing Sarah’s mental health to spiral and her to begin self-harming. 

It was at this point that Sarah began to open up to our support workers; she disclosed that her father had not been her only abuser – her mother had controlled her finances completely, and left her in a state of severe financial debt. She had also been abused emotionally; adopted by her mother at a young age, she was constantly made to feel second-rate – that she owed her parents for taking her in.  

After years of suffering in silence, Sarah finally began to talk. She was at last in a place where she was heard, believed, and understood. She worked through her feelings of confusion with our support workers, recognising that while she both loved and missed her mother, she had experienced repeated trauma and abuse at her hands. With our assistance she applied for universal credit and housing benefits, and managed to gain full access to her own bank account for the first time in her life.  

Sarah was encouraged to keep a log and write down how she felt each day, and to attend the activities in the refuge, which she credits with helping to lift her out of her depression. 

She had always worked before, and now missed the routine and sense of purpose, so her Support Worker arranged for employment training and job opportunities workshops. Quickly, Sarah got herself a job and a new-found sense of independence. Her wellbeing sessions continued, but the topics had changed; from the hurt and pain she had felt, to discussing her hopes and dreams for the future. She decided not to press charges against her parents, preferring to move on and put the past behind her. Within a year, Sarah was able to secure her own property and, overwhelmed with joy, she began to prepare to leave Gilgal.  

Sarah is still in her property, which she loves, enjoying her own independence and being self-sufficient. She works 4-5 days every week, is learning to drive, and says she is in high spirits and feeling well in herself. Sarah is hugely grateful to the staff at Gilgal and spoke to us about how she felt she was able to grow whilst with us, and begin the next chapter in her life.

If you need help, or suspect someone you know is in danger, get in touch with us today.

*name has been changed for privacy