Carol’s story: Safety, dignity and a home that meets her needs
Carol arrived at Gilgal in April 2025 after fleeing abuse from someone no mother ever expects to fear – her own adult son.
Her experience reflects a hidden but devastating pattern: according to the Femicide Census, one in 10 women killed by men in the UK over the last 15 years were mothers killed by their sons. Carol knew she could no longer stay safe in her own home.
At 59, she had always been independent and had even worked in the support sector herself, making it incredibly hard to accept she now needed help. On top of the emotional trauma, she lived with chronic pain, arthritis, and reduced mobility, which made the prospect of moving into a refuge seem bothphysically and mentally exhausting.
Settling into safety
Carol said she felt welcomed straight away, with both staff and the other residents helping her to feel safe as she settled in. Communal living wasn’t always easy; having always had her own space, Carol found it difficult to cope with the practicalities of shared accommodating; especially when her pain was worse, or she felt particularly overwhelmed due to potential OCD or ADHD. Staff supported her patiently, with frequent check-ins and practical adjustments so that daily life felt more manageable.
Getting her benefits back on track
Moving to our refuge meant navigating a tangle of paperwork – updating addresses, sorting Universal Credit and PIP, and completing housing benefit steps. Carol’s health issues sometimes complicated the process, and conflicting advice left her anxious about her rights. Gilgal stepped in to liaise with services, explaining each step clearly and making sure her income was stabilised. Carol later said she felt she had “all the support needed”, and especially valued having someone to listen, help her to write letters, and “keep her spirits up” throughout the long rehousing process.
Supporting Carol’s wellbeing
Carol carried a deep mix of grief and guilt. She still loved her son, but described no longer being able to live “on eggshells” at home. Through keywork sessions, wellbeing check-ins and counselling, she began processing the trauma, rebuilding her confidence, and developing what she called a “new mindset,” focusing on boundaries, calm, and her own safety.
Housing was central to Carol’s recovery. She wanted to be close to her daughter, her main carer, and needed a property that suited her mobility needs. Gilgal assisted with her housing application, supporting her in gathering medical evidence, and clarifying her rights whenever there were confusing or difficult moments.
A home built for healing
In October 2025, Carol accepted an offer of a bungalow – the perfect property for her. Gilgal supported her through the move, including follow-up floating support to ensure a smooth transition and continued recovery. During these check-ins, Carol confirmed she was happy, settling in gradually, reconnecting with her daughter’s support, and enjoying a home that finally worked with her body instead of against it.
Carol told us she felt safe during her time at Gilgal, appreciated the diverse staff team, and felt her disabilities were treated with respect and dignity. Above all, she felt seen, heard, and supported.
